So I am kinda of sad. I had hoped to bring another rescue dog home for Leila. I looked and found a few I liked and the kept getting adopted. Finally has Frankie over today to meet Leila and she was not happy. I really liked him and would happily have brought him home to stay but she did not want him. I think we will be a one dog household until she is gone. After seeing her reaction I really think it will be best. She is almost 10 and she was never socialized. I did not know that was important when I got her but I can see now that I made a huge mistake by not doing it. She loved Cappy but she is very picky about other dogs. I plan to adopt a puppy and an older dog once she is gone although I have a hard time imagining my life without her. Well anyway I want her to be happy and if that means she is an only dog then so be it.

It has been almost two months since I put down my beautiful boy. He was an amazing dog and I am crying thinking abou it. Some days I think of him only briefly now but he will ways hold that special place in my heart. He came into my life at a time that I did not even know I needs him and he made my life better for being with me. I can never replace him but I think we might be ready to bring another rescue home to give it love. The thing that Cappy can pass on is my ability to love and care for another animal. He left a lasting impression on me and others and I will count myself lucky if I can find a dog half as loving as him. So I say this. Cappy, my love, you brought me joy and happiness.  You showed me love and companionship. So I will pay it forward and adopt someone new that needs a home just like you did. You will always be remembered and loved. Enjoy the rainbow bridge with Chip, JB, Chewy, and Ollie. The rest of us will meet you there one day to run free. I love you always baby!

So yesterday I decided it was time to put down my oldest dog.  He was a rescue of sorts and I have had him almost 11 years. In the last 3-4 months he has been sick more often than not and since he can't walk anymore I think it is for the best. I had hoped things would get better but yesterday I got the sign I guess I needed to finally make the desicion. I love my Captain Morgan more commonly known as Cappy. I love my baby and it is breaking my heart to know that in a few short days he will no longer be here. I knew I needed a few days to come to terms with what I have decided to do but now that I have decided it almost seems like a dream since it still has not happened. I know what I am going to do and I won't change my mind but it hurts when I think of it. Then I feel bad as well when it slips my mind for a brief moment or two. I have four more days before I do it and I just start randomly crying and I know it is not going to stop anytime soon.